The other day I ran across an article titled: “If You Have These 10 Traits, Congrats! You’re Girlfriend Material”. Now, it was not that there was anything necessarily wrong with the ten traits the article wrote about, but by the time I finished reading it I was annoyed that it made no mention of the fact that all of those traits/rules apply for men being “boyfriend material”.
I know the article is one of those dumb clickbait articles and I shouldn’t have even clicked let alone given it much thought, but thought I gave. Most of these types of clickbait articles that I’ve run across are directed at women with “how to”s on various topics, mostly relating to men and relationships. Maybe it’s because I don’t frequent sites directed specifically at men or maybe it’s because Google knows I female, but I never see articles like these directed at men. So I took it upon myself to write one.
1. You’re confident…
Confidence is sexy, no matter what sex you are. We as humans are drawn to confident people; there is an air about them that catches our eye even in a crowded room. If you are the type of person who wants to hide, chances are people won’t seek you. Insecure people who constantly need reassurance about how they look or how interested we are in them tend to get annoying pretty darn quick.
2. … But not cocky.
What’s even more annoying than an insecure person? A cocky one. Confidence is one thing, but have the skills to back it up and know your limits. Being confident for no reason or thinking you’re amazing and can do no wrong crosses the line from confident to cocky. And no one likes a cocky a-hole. Even Tony Stark gets annoying. If Robert Downey Jr. can’t pull off cocky, then neither can you.
3. You’re smart.
4. You’re not into material things.
Contrary to popular belief, diamonds are not a girl’s best friend. Don’t get me wrong, diamonds are nice, but unless the woman is super into jewelry, gifts that are more personal than the cliched go-tos (flowers, jewelry, and chocolate) are far more thoughtful and desired. It doesn’t even have to be a gift; something as simple as remembering the weird way she drinks her coffee shows the same, if not more, level of thoughtfulness as any physical gift.
5. You appreciate doing things spur of the moment.
Women can get into ruts, too, you know. Doing the same thing, eating the same food, and seeing the same people every single day gets monotonous, and sometimes something as simple as driving around a different part of town can be a much needed break from the monotony. You don’t have to take her skydiving (in fact, you should probably ask before doing that), but something simple to break the routine is much appreciated.
6. Relaxing is cool, too.
Sometimes we don’t want to do the dishes, either, bro. Stop nagging or do them yourself.
7. You’re not too serious…
There is nothing more eye-roll inducing than someone who takes themself too seriously. Humor is an attractive trait and being able to laugh at yourself is a good thing.
8. … But you take things seriously.
While humor is attractive, never taking anything seriously is not. There is nothing worse than trying to have a serious conversation with someone who is constantly cracking jokes at what you say.
9. The truth is important to you.
Relationships are built on trust, and if she can’t trust you, how do you expect her to share her deepest secrets with you, share a home with you, share funds with you, share a life and children with you? Open and honest communication is the most important factor in a long-term relationship. A little white lie now could turn into a full-blown fight (complete with a messy divorce and custody battle) later.
10. You’re not needy!
No one, man or woman, wants to babysit a stage five clinger. I said in #1 that insecurity gets annoying pretty darn quick and it’s true. A relationship won’t last if you expect her to text, call, or visit you every five minutes. You may want to have poker nights with your buddies or sit alone and play GTA 5 for eight hours straight, but guess what… SO DO WE! Women need their alone time, too. Hanging with you is great, but sometimes we want to hang with our friends or want some good old peace and quiet. So instead of getting mad when she doesn’t text you back right away, take several seats.
11. You don’t judge her “escapism vices”.
Keeping on that needy subject, you have your “escapism vices” (be it video games, fantasy football leagues, or something less cliched) and so do we (be it fashion, makeup, celebrity gossip, royal gossip, or something less cliched – girls love video games and sports, too!). Everyone has something that they use as a form of escapism from their everyday lives. We won’t judge you yours, you don’t judge us ours, savvy?
12. You’re honest.
This is different from #9 in that this is specifically about criticism. Be honest with her. Constructive criticism is always acceptable. Being told she’s awesome when she’s clearly made a mistake will only hurt her in the future; she needs to know when she’s made a mistake in order to improve herself. But at the same time keep it constructive; don’t be rude, demeaning, belittling, or put her down – she’s still your girlfriend after all.
13. You’ve got her back.
While honesty and constructive criticism are necessities, women still want to be supported (not in the financial sense). They want to know that their partner will support their decisions and life choices; they want to know their partner will be there when they need a hug or a shoulder to get themselves together on. You support her, she’ll support you.
14. You respect her.
Respect is important. You need to not only respect her but treat her as if you respect her. You never attack, demean, or belittle her, put her down, or call her names. She is your equal. And if there are subjects in which she is not your equal, you never hold that over her head or make her feel bad for it. There is a give and take, a push and pull, there will be subjects you are better at and subjects she is better at. Not respecting each other will only lead to resentment, abuse, and an eventual breakup.
So there you have it. Fourteen tips and traits you need to be a good boyfriend.
Link: If You Have These 10 Traits, Congrats! You’re Girlfriend Material